Stool Pigeon Flushes Cheaters in Professional Poo Design Competition Doping Scandal

Talking shit with the kid:

“What other foods come out of your butt almost whole? I mean like peanuts do. And corn sometimes…”
“Some leafy foods make it out almost whole. You could probably expect that if you accidentally swallowed a penny, maybe. I’d suppose that tinsel might.”
“You could take an artsy poop if you planned it.”
“Like bedazzling your poo? ‘Hey, I’m going to eat rhinestones and poodazzle.’ If you gag on something, it would be ‘pukedazzle.’ Worst. Activity toy. Ever.”
“We could have a contest to see who can take the shiniest dump. Or puke up something that looks like a painting.”
“We’d need a lot of legal paperwork.”
“Paperwork! That’s funny.”
“We put a link to an Amazon store and sell peanuts and corn and marbles and sequins and other stuff, and then people mix it with their food and make poo. We’d make money… on BOTH ENDS! (awkward pause for laughter that never came) Then they post a picture, and people vote.”
“You could win a huge pack of toilet paper. Or breath mints.”
“There should be controversy… Maybe we find out that a contestant is doping with Ex-Lax… or they’re bulimic: ‘Hey, that makes you like semi-pro! DISQUALIFIED.’ The headlines read ‘Stool Pigeon Flushes Out Cheaters in Doping Scandal.'”
“This is starting to get weird.”

This little exchange gave me a great idea for a story (which I figured best to NOT share with the kid) about a school janitor who takes a new job at a strip club, and one night someone pukes, and he can’t find the sawdust or floor dry, so he uses glitter. I can probably milk that for about a hundred or so pages as an internal monologue (or even further should I explore the side stories of what led to the vomit spill – and away we go!), but it lacks a title. Feel free to discuss.

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About drawinghotrods

I draw cars. I also provide full-service hot rod design and illustration, custom car, graphic and web design tailored to the custom automotive aftermarket, including logos, branding, project planning and research, and even apparel design. Need an ad, some copy, or a jump on social media? I do that, too. My mission is straightforward: To consistently provide the ultimate in design creativity and customer service, with an experience and artistic vision that is second to none. While working to raise the standard of automotive illustration, I seek to educate the public with regard to the labor and sacrifice required to create a work of fine art.

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